no words

it's been an interesting few days around here.

first: we were pulled over by a cop who accused us of smoking pot.

read that again and please laugh as hard as we did when he asked us, so have you smoked any pot lately? the cop even called back up because you know, mike and i have a pretty bad drug habit and have been known to resist arrests before so he was definitely going to need some help with us.

the cop's basis for our smoking pot (we were pulled over for having a burnt out tail light) was that mike's eyes were red. why else would he have red eyes unless he had been using illegal drugs, right?  the cop kept shining his flashlight through our car and in our faces, and when he wasn't satisfied with our insistence that we hadn't been smoking nor have we ever, he asked, "well do you have any open food in the car? i smell something that just really smells like pot." we did have some chips in the car and a diet coke in the back seat. we offered him a drink and a taste of our chips, but he wasn't interested.

it was the weirdest thing, and you better believe i wrote a long letter to the editor about this idiot of a cop. if nothing else, it was motivation to clean the car and try to scrub out that pot smell.

second: i offended at least one person with what i wrote here, and i'm truly sorry. i didn't mean to belittle motherhood or those of you who are raising babies. believe me--i want to be a mother more than anything else. that's my problem: all i want is to be a mom and sometimes, nothing else matters. in the midst of our quest to have a baby, i often lose sight of my worth as a daughter of God, failing to recognize my capability to do great things simply because i'm not a mother right now.

i was just trying to say that i think we are all loved. we each have a divine worth that is independent of anything else. God loves us, and i believe he wants to make something great of us, something even greater than we can comprehend. that's all.