a letter

Dear Visiting Teacher,

It was really nice to meet you and your two energetic boys. Just a thought- leave them home next time? Or if you can't leave them home, a phone call will surely count as visiting teaching for the month. When you left, I had to wipe down the walls from the mark left when your son threw his shoe at my wall. I had to clean the bathroom and wash my rug because your little one 7-year-old peed all over everything, even though you were in the bathroom helping him. My blinds are now bent after he repeatedly pulled them up and down, up and down, and they would probably be broken if I hadn't kindly asked him to stop as you sat and watched him and remarked to him "you are officially driving me nuts." And no, it's not okay if your boys run all through my house with muddy shoes on. May I also suggest that wrestling with your 5-year-old son, especially in a complete stranger's home, is not the most effective way to discipline him, shown by the fact that he ran out of my house and into the street as soon as you took him out of your leg-lock. But thanks for the lesson on. . . birth control?? I felt spiritually uplifted. I'm certainly grateful I don't have children yet and I've made a few notes on what not to do if ever my kids act that way.

Sincerely,
a girl who loves children but has little patience for bad parents who already have 4 little terrors kids and another on the way