[the kropfs]

an outpouring of everything good

2012-02-13T15:46:00.000-07:00

if this lovely little letter doesn't get you in the valentines mood, i don't know what will. my two favorite lines: [love] is an outpouring of everything good in you and nothing good gets away.

JOHN E. STEINBECK
A Letter to His Son
New York
10 November 1958

Dear Thom:

We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.

First -- if you are in love -- that's a good thing -- that's about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don't let anyone make it small or light to you.

Second -- There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you -- of kindness and consideration and respect -- not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn't know you had.

You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply -- of course it isn't puppy love.

But I don't think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it -- and that I can tell you.

Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.

The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.

If you love someone -- there is no possible harm in saying so -- only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.

Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.

It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another -- but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.

Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I'm glad you have it.

We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.

And don't worry about losing. If it is right, it happens -- The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.

Love,

Fa

found here.

hang on to hope

2012-01-31T15:29:00.001-07:00

i wasn't going to post this, but after reading a friend's blog this morning, i felt like i should. if i can't laugh and be a bit sarcastic about our situation, i don't know how i will get through it.

i loved whitney's funny post: infertility: the board game. as she says, infertility is as much fun as a barrel of monkeys! i would just add a few spaces:

*you are asked for the 1000th time "when is it your turn." skip your turn and wait patiently until everyone else has their turn two or three times, then spin again.
*go to hospital for hystosalpinogram. lose $2000 but there's nothing wrong with you!
*doctor forgets to read your medical chart. go back to the start and lose all your money.
*switch doctors for the third time. go back to the start and lose all your money.
*receive a perfectly-timed text or email from someone who simply says "you are great" or "thinking about you." move forward 3 spaces.
*babysit other people's kids (or teach the 3-year-olds at church) and wonder why you want kids in the first place. move forward one and back two.

i keep getting told that i don't know how hard it is to have a baby. i've honestly lost count of the things my family members have said to me this week that begin or end with "well you just won't understand until you've had a baby....you just don't know how hard it is." and they are right. i don't know how hard it is. but i have tried my very best to be loving and supportive and concerned for those who are experiencing the trials of motherhood. really all i can offer to those experiencing the "hard" times as a mother is my empathy. maybe you don't know what it's like to experience infertility (or a myriad of other difficult situations), but you can be empathetic.

i guess this is all to say that the empathy that has been extended to me and the empathy i've felt for others gives me a lot of hope, and the final space on my own infertility board game would have to be hope. (was that a really awkward transition or attempt to bring it all together? sorry.)

i'm hopeful that one day i'll read this and laugh because i'm knee deep in the trials of motherhood. i'm hopeful that one day i won't have to fight back the tears and force the smile when someone announces a pregnancy or i hold a new baby or see a pregnant woman, hopeful that i can repay all the kind acts and words that have been extended to me, and hopeful that i will love my babies all the more for having felt so much pain at not being able to have them.

and for those of you who are also suffering, i hope the same things.

hang on to hope.

jack

2012-01-18T15:12:00.001-07:00

i have a new nephew! baby jack made his debut january 17. he has a perfectly round face and squishy little nose. hard to believe that my little brother is a dad, but he will be a good one. jack is lucky to have such awesome parents! i sure love them.

2012-01-09T15:50:00.000-07:00

this weekend i:

washed and ironed our sheets (i'm turning in to my mother!),
made bread,
met stacie+stratton for dinner in park city,
wandered the aisles of world market where we purchased the most delicious hazelnut pirouettes,
played settlers with new friends,
reminded myself how to play the organ,

and through these simple events, i was reminded of Paolo Coelho's quote: "Our daily tasks are also our divine tasks. And God is there."

if i just stop and listen, if i pay attention, He is there.
He is here.

2011 in music

2011-12-30T09:52:00.003-07:00

as i reflect on 2011, i like to think about the year in terms of music in addition to the usual year in review list. there are always a few songs and lyrics that stick out and remind me of the year. here's my list for 2011:

+ingrid michaelson, are we there yet
"they say there's linings made of silver folded inside each rainy cloud
well i need someone to deliver our silver lining now.
and are we there yet?"

+mumford & sons, awake my soul
"in these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die
where you invest your love, you invest your life."

+sara bareilles, the light
"and if you say it'll be alright
i'm gonna trust you babe, gonna look in your eyes
and if you say it'll be alright
i'll follow you into the light."

+avett brothers, i and love and you

what songs remind you of 2011?

2011 memories, moments and lessons

2011-12-30T09:39:00.000-07:00

favorite memories:
+going to st. george with my dad for my birthday
+growing closer to mike than i ever thought possible
+playing "samuri unite" in sun valley
+roadtrip to wyoming to take kennedy to school
+cruise to mexico

hardest moments:
+leaving logan--unexpectedly moving--drastically changing our plans and future goals
+house payment + rent payment
+living apart from mike for 6 months

lessons learned:
+forgive. forget. move on.
+"i am the master of my fate; i am the captain of my soul."
+"courage, then, and patience! courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones. and then when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake." -victor hugo

2011-12-28T15:42:00.002-07:00

"last christmas started this way, with me getting crapped on."

name that movie!

christmas didn't really start with me getting crapped on, but for some reason that hilarioius line keeps popping in my head.

christmas was actually really great again this year. i won't bore you with play-by-play details of how we spent the weekend, but i would like to say:

new tradition: sleepover with the sisters on christmas eve eve.
christmas should always be on a sunday. it really put the day in focus to start out by praising and worshipping God, thanking Him for the gift of His son, and contemplating the miracle of His birth and life.
it took us until 1 pm on christmas day to finish eating/opening presents. i loved dragging it out.
my mother is the best at giving thoughtful gifts.
coco nearly shredded my little sister's bike tire because her ball got stuck behind it.
i love when i get to spend full days with mike.
i also love giving gifts and seeing the surprised/excited expressions on others' faces.
just dance on the wii=hilarious. my dad playing just dance on the wii=no words.
i suppose not having snow made for nice travelling weather, but what is up with this smog?

a few of my favorite photos from this december:

note to self: remember

2011-12-15T21:17:00.000-07:00

Image found here

+remember that this week you toured the new brigham city temple with some work colleagues. remember that despite the chaos and noise of construction, the grounds were peaceful. remember the details inside: the exquisite hand-carved wood, the peach blossoms that are incorporated throughout the interior and exterior, the fruit trees that will soon be planted. remember the pride you felt walking through this beautiful building during its early construction. your hometown will soon have a temple!

+remember hillary, who told you with great conviction that she has a responsbility to love God and serve His children. remember her motto for serving and her response to being an instrument in God's hands, saying, "God, i've got this one." remember that there are people close to you who are lonely or struggling and need someone to answer their prayer by saying, "God, i've got this one."

+remember the sunbeam who was asked to draw a picture of what it looked like at jesus' birth and sincerely asked: what does birth look like? remember how you smiled and felt a bit of gratitude that you don't know what birth looks like.

+remember that you came home from long days feeling proud of the things you've accomplished. remember that you are good at what you do. remember the opportunities that have come your way. remember that along with some sadness and emptiness, this season of life is one of growth and happiness. remember that this week you didn't have to convince yourself that you were happy: you just felt it. fully, completely, painstakingly happy.

thanksgiving in paradise

2011-12-02T00:24:00.000-07:00

now that i have done 100 loads of laundry, restocked our fridge with food and finally taken down halloween decorations to get our home ready for christmas, i want to tell you about our thanksgiving in paradise!

simply put, we spent a week where the hardest decision we had to make was what to eat for dinner. believe me, sometimes that was a hard decision. when we were on the ship our schedule went a little like this: eat breakfast, lay out, eat lunch, take a nap, eat dinner, visit the spa, go to sleep. see a theme here? clearly we did a lot of eating and sleeping. just how a vacation should be, right?

i didn't take many pictures because i was just enjoying myself the whole time. our first stop was cabo san lucas. we went snorkeling, saw a couple of whales and walked through the historic area of cabo which included an old church that was built nearly 300 years ago. we also ate lunch at a cafe where we were serenaded by the cutest little mariachi band. that moment was one of my favorites of the trip. i was thinking of everything i normally do on a wednesday afternoon and it felt a little bit surreal that instead of the usual routine, we were sitting in mexico, enjoying the warm sun, and eating lunch while we had our own private musical performance sung by a few men who are just trying to provide for their families.

after two days in cabo, we sailed to puerto vallarta. it was just as hot and humid as i remember. we took a cab downtown for some shopping and explored the city a bit. it's very green and pretty. we ate thanksgiving dinner on the ship. mike had their version of thanksgiving dinner, and i ate shrimp.

i'm embarassed that i didn't get a decent picture of mike and i (hello missed christmas card photo opportunity!) but we did get this awesome picture of me, evan, and crista:

there are photographers everywhere on the ship taking photos in front of the most ridiculous backgrounds. we thought it would be funny to indulge some of the many photographers who wanted to take our pictures. we also took a few pictures wearing sombreros and ponchos, and i entranced the photographer with my "fierce and seductive eyes."

so there you have it. if i could, i might spend every thanksgiving in mexico. it was perfect.

thankful

2011-11-16T13:00:00.000-07:00

i love this thought. thankful = happy.

+i am thankful for my husband and that we are living under the same roof again.
+i am thankful for my grandpa, who has always been an example to me of enduring to the end and simply being happy and thankful, regardless of his circumstance.
+i am thankful for the opportunity to fast for others and see the results.
+i am thankful for our jobs.
+i am thankful that while the sale fell through on our house, the (ex) buyer's earnest money will help pay for the water heater we replaced for her.
+i am thankful for friends who "get it."
+i am thankful for old journals.
+i am thankful for the puppy who is easily entertained by frolicking around with a bobby pin.
+i am thankful for my sisters.

this is going to be the best thanksgiving ever. just sayin.

11.11.11

2011-11-11T12:18:00.001-07:00

i'm not really superstitious, but i had to take a photo at 11:11 on 11/11/11. what were you doing today at 11:11? i was writing an awards application for work. exciting, i know.

other exciting events lately:

-last night i met my bloggy friend janae for dinner. mike made fun of me for "meeting a girl i met on the internet" and he was maybe a little worried about whether or not i'd come home alive. it was really fun to meet someone that i feel like i already know. i think she's fabulous, and i love that we met through our blogs. blogging is kinda great, isn't it?

-my little sister is in town! this means lots of basketball games this weekend. sporting events can bring out the worst in people. it's especially rough when you have to sit between fans from the opposing team because everyone is trying to out-yell each other. of course I am not the one participating in the yelling...

-how did i get anywhere before the maps app on my phone? if i made a thankful list today, that would be #1.

-i am also wondering how i taught primary 5 years ago without a phone. it is the only thing the 4-year-olds are interested in.

-this week i attended a conference for women in business. mike called it my girl power day. sometimes i'm awkward in settings with women who are super successful and high achievers and out to prove it. i feel so out of place. i was just there for the free food. but i did enjoy the remarks from one of the speakers who challenged those in attendance to be PROactive rather than REactive. when change occurs from the outside in, it creates pressure and we end up just reacting to the circumstance. it's amazing how just changing the way you label something changes the way you perceive it. change vs. stretch. problem vs. challenge. failure vs. opportunity. some of those words have a negative connotation, some have a positive one. he reminded us that strength only occurs after the point of discomfort. i can choose to be uncomfortable with change or i can choose to optimistic about it. i like to consider myself a realist rather than an optimist, but i appreciated the challenge to change how i label certain events and thus change my attitude.

2011-11-01T13:48:00.002-06:00

we recently took a drive up the beautiful alpine loop which may be the most photographed road in the state right now. there's a good reason, too. the trees are still vibrant and gold and the air is definitely easier to breathe up there.

october is one of my favorite months. we sent it out with a bang by eating the halloween treats we bought since we didn't have any trick or treaters, and i decided that i like chili. but not just any chili, chocolate chipotle chili.

i'm equally excited for november, maybe because we're leaving the country for the longest vacation we've ever had and definitely because it's now acceptable to listen to christmas music. who am i kidding....i've been listening to it for weeks now :) leave it to michael to get you excited for christmas!

no words

2011-10-24T18:36:00.000-06:00

it's been an interesting few days around here.

first: we were pulled over by a cop who accused us of smoking pot.

read that again and please laugh as hard as we did when he asked us, so have you smoked any pot lately? the cop even called back up because you know, mike and i have a pretty bad drug habit and have been known to resist arrests before so he was definitely going to need some help with us.

the cop's basis for our smoking pot (we were pulled over for having a burnt out tail light) was that mike's eyes were red. why else would he have red eyes unless he had been using illegal drugs, right? the cop kept shining his flashlight through our car and in our faces, and when he wasn't satisfied with our insistence that we hadn't been smoking nor have we ever, he asked, "well do you have any open food in the car? i smell something that just really smells like pot." we did have some chips in the car and a diet coke in the back seat. we offered him a drink and a taste of our chips, but he wasn't interested.

it was the weirdest thing, and you better believe i wrote a long letter to the editor about this idiot of a cop. if nothing else, it was motivation to clean the car and try to scrub out that pot smell.

second: i offended at least one person with what i wrote here, and i'm truly sorry. i didn't mean to belittle motherhood or those of you who are raising babies. believe me--i want to be a mother more than anything else. that's my problem: all i want is to be a mom and sometimes, nothing else matters. in the midst of our quest to have a baby, i often lose sight of my worth as a daughter of God, failing to recognize my capability to do great things simply because i'm not a mother right now.

i was just trying to say that i think we are all loved. we each have a divine worth that is independent of anything else. God loves us, and i believe he wants to make something great of us, something even greater than we can comprehend. that's all.

even greater

2011-10-19T12:24:00.000-06:00

being brave on the blog today. and it's long. you've been warned!

C.Jane has done it again. i've re-read this post 100 times. i’m nodding my head, i’m crying, i’m wishing i were as good with words as she is, because this is what i’ve wanted to say. this is what i want to say to people who don’t get it. to the mean but perhaps well-meaning ladies at church. to the woman who asked “when is it your turn” every time she saw me holding a baby. to the man who rebuked me and mike saying, “you’ve both graduated from college, you both have good jobs, you're making good money, you should be having kids.” to the woman who told me i was “ornery because you hate being around babies.” to the sister-in-law who offered to be a surrogate because she gets pregnant “as soon as he looks at me.” to the countless people who have offered their two cents on an easy fix: just adopt. just lose weight. just see this doctor—he has a 98% success rate! just try acupuncture. just eat better. just have more faith. just “practice” more. just relax: your time will come.

it’s not just about being pregnant or having a baby anymore, and especially right now when i couldn't be much more infertile or aware of it and not sure how to move forward, i’m realizing that it’s not even about a baby, or lack thereof. infertility and the longing, the emptiness, the excitement, the discouragement, the hope, the heaviness, the sorrow, the laughter (and i have some funny stories to tell some day)--they are all the symptoms, but not the cause.

the cause as C. Jane puts it is “not seeing who I really [am], with or without a baby.”

it wasn’t a minor breakthrough when i realized that who i am, and my value as a daughter of God, is not defined by my infertility.

several years ago i had this skewed mindset that i was trying to do things "right," so God loved me and i’d be a mother soon. i had based my worth on becoming a mother. when that didn't happen, i seriously doubted my capability of doing anything.

silly, right? i was basing my worth on something i have absolutely no control over. i was basing His love on all the wrong things, and i was looking for evidence of His love in events that have yet to happen.

i remember driving home from work several months ago and pleading, "my burden is too heavy. i can't carry it anymore. i am too tired. i am done. please. please help me."

i had said the same prayer a dozen times before, but this time was different. i think the difference was instead of saying the prayer i wanted, i said the prayer i needed, and i was open to hearing the answer. i didn't suddenly become pregnant. i didn't have an epiphany about what medical procedure to try next. my situation didn't change at all, in fact, but a clear realization came to me: you are a daughter of God. you are valuable. you are loved. and that is enough.

my burden didn't feel so heavy when i allowed myself to feel that His love is enough, and i began to understand that He loves me not because of something i have or haven’t done—He loves me because i am His. and because i am His, i am capable of becoming something even greater than a mother.

i love this october

2011-10-17T10:44:00.001-06:00

the colorful red and yellow trees, a baby shower for my cousin and sister-in-law, football games (poor aggies!), and celebrating mike's birthday all week- we hit up park city, provo, and orem for dinner, dessert, and a movie. then we bribed people to come over yesterday with homemade cinnamon rolls.

i also love that my phone has a camera. sure they aren't great quality, but i would miss snapping pictures of these little moments without it.

why do you love this october?

extremely excited...

2011-10-06T20:45:00.001-06:00

for this movie. the book was excellent and this trailer gives me hope that the movie will do it justice.

eye hath not seen

2011-10-02T22:02:00.000-06:00

if i had to sum up the october 2011 conference in one line, it would be this scripture: Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him. (1 Cor. 2:9)

what a powerful and encouraging verse! oh how i needed the words and testimonies that were born this weekend. it always puts life back in perspective to listen to the testimonies of the prophet and apostles of God and to know that it's all going to be ok. sure, life has hard and challenging moments, but we are blessed. God loves us, He is aware of us, and He has prepared great things for us.

a few other favorites from conference:
+where is your faith?
+look up!
+trust in the atonement
+the lord is my light, then why should i fear?
+wait upon the Lord. this includes to hope and to continue in patience until you are perfected
+answers to know the Lord's will come line upon line
+His answers will come- don't give up
+read the book of mormon
+the temple is the manner of happiness
+the best thing a father can give his daughter: love her mother
+the laws of God have not changed; He is our constant anchor
+pray. prayer is necessary to weather the storms of life.
+recognize, trust, and follow inspiration
+i believe in Christ, so come what may
+the things that are important to us are also important to God
+the holy ghost teaches us in an intimate and personal way
+the atonement compensates for any and all injustice and unfairness we experience
+be grateful for the tender mercies that come in the midst of suffering

i can say along with president monson that the gospel of Jesus Christ gives meaning, purpose, and hope to my life.

weekly pin

2011-09-23T11:54:00.003-06:00

before i joined the magical world of pinterest, i decided that every week i would actually work on a project or cook something or somehow put to use the pins i pin. so for this week's pin, i made the most delicious frozen hot chocolate.

photo & recipe from tastykitchen.com

3 T. granulated sugar

1 package or about 3 T. hot cocoa mix

2 T. unsalted butter

1/3 c. semi-sweet chocolate chips

1/3 c. white chocolate chips

12 oz. evaporated milk. divided

4 1/2 c. ice

whipped cream to taste

mini marshmallows to taste

combine sugar, cocoa mix, and butter in the top of a double boiler set over gently boiling water. stir often utnil melted and a smooth paste forms. add white and semi-sweet chocolate chips; stir. when chips begin to melt, add 1/2 c. evaporated milk. stir until smooth. cool to room temperature.

combine the chocolate base mixutre, the remaining evaporated milk, and ice in a blender. blend until smooth. pour into glasses and top with whipped cream and marshmallows.

enjoy!

the plan

2011-09-15T18:05:00.000-06:00

we went for a drive last night,
talked about what's next for our little family,
ate milk shakes as we perused through neighborhoods
searching for our dream house.

will this valley become our home?
where will we be in one year?

in five years?

i always cringe when making "the plan,"

and sometimes i can't help but laugh as others around me tell me their plan

down to the very month, date, and hour.

i was once naive enough to think my plan was THE plan.

this- where we're at now-was definitely not my plan.

as we drove, talked, and ate,
we watched a storm roll in over timp,
an incredible pillar of light shining through the black clouds,
and i felt faith that this is God's plan.
where we are now,
the way things have happened,
and what has led us here
were all things that we never expected, but
thankfully He knows better than I.

my plan is happening just as should.

sunday notes

2011-09-13T15:17:00.000-06:00

mike and i spoke in church on sunday. mike gave a beautiful talk about developing charity in the home, and i spoke about how simple acts of kindness can help us overcome personal afflictions. every other lesson seemed to tie back to having patience, love and charity in all things. i took lots of notes.

"no pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. it ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. all that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure in patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable." -orson f. whitney

2 Cor. 1:3-4: one reason for our suffering is to offer comfort to those around us. because the Savior has experienced everything and comforts us, we must in turn comfort others.

"if we are thinking only of ourselves, we may miss some of the most powerful spiritual experiences and profound revelations of our lives. by becoming the answer to someone's prayer, we often find the answer to our own." -president uchtdorf

Moro. 7:45-47 lists the attributes of charity. 4 of the 13 attirubes relate to patience: suffereth long, beareth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things

what it's like

2011-09-06T16:47:00.000-06:00

this weekend was pretty great and typical for the weekends we enjoy as a family of two (plus a dog). maybe one day i'll have a hard time remembering what it was like with only two. for memories' sake, this is what it's like:

+weekend trips to logan

+coco taking up the whole back seat of the car and all her stuff filling up the trunk
+barbeques with the family wherein i can enjoy laughing, eating, playing with the other babies and only occasionally worry about keeping the dog away from the chickens

+waking up for church with plenty of time to spare and still showing up late. i am always late even though i only have myself to get ready

+staying up until 2 am watching prison break

+sleeping in until 10:30
+eating corn dogs and nachos for sunday dinner
+day trips to park city

+splurging on a new coat that i really didn't need

we did a little laboring over the weekend, too, and we have 20 pints of salsa to show for it. yay for being domestic!

simple goodness

2011-08-31T23:41:00.002-06:00

we finished watching the last episode of friday night lights tonight. we started with season 1 in may and by the end of august we finished season 5. appropriate way to end the summer, i think.

i cried through the whole episode. mike claims his eyes were red because of his contacts (yeah right) but i'm sure he cried, too. he rolled his eyes and asked, "how many times have you seen this episode? and why are you crying?" i've only seen it twice. okay three times. and i was crying because that's what i do, and because it is the most brilliantly written and acted tv show.

as one writer put it, "the reason we love this show: we learn that we can, in our daily lives, live with integrity and openness to whatever the world offers us; that it is better to live with an open heart that allows us to believe in the possibiliy of an impossibly long pass, and the love of two people that endures no matter what; that the love of a show about football and Texas has nothing to do with football or Texas, and is instead about the potential each of us has to be normal, regular, incredible people. the show models a type of living and a kind of human purpose that we instinctively want to be around: simple goodness."

so on this first day of september, i'm thinking about simple goodness. i'm thinking about the potential we each have to be normal, regular, incredible people. i'm thinking that we have every reason to believe in the possibility of an impossibly long pass.

and if that's not enough to leave you feeling inspired and wanting more, i've got two words for you: tim riggins. that's all.

on saying goodbye

2011-08-27T17:26:00.003-06:00

i took a little road trip this weekend with my parents to drop kennedy off at college. we drove through herds of buffalo, deer, and a few grizzly bears to get to wyoming where she'll be playing basketball for the next couple of years.

it still makes me cry that she's living 8 hours away. gosh i'll miss the convenience of having her close! thankfully she plays a few games in UT and we have christmas to look forward to. i just have to keep reminding myself that november is not THAT far away.

i'm so proud of my little sister for chasing her dreams, for not taking the easy way out by going to school where it would be more convenient or easy. she set her mind to playing basketball and getting her schooling paid for and she made it happen. she reminds me that i should be more quick to do what i love rather than what's easy.

she left me a list of rules about borrowing the clothes she left in her closet. i really only have one rule for her: STAY AWAY from those wyoming cowboys unless they plan on making utah home.

i'm baaaack

2011-08-16T17:58:00.000-06:00

hello friends! i've had a nice little blogging break, but i want to feel good about writing on this public space again so i'm going to give it a shot.

several things have made me want to start blogging again. first and foremost, we moved and now this little space will have to be used to keep in touch with those we left in logan. more on that later. and second, i recently read annie dillard's the writing life. i loved so much about this book and it made me miss writing, even if only about my insignificant little day-to-day activities. for now the quote that i keep coming back to is this:

"One of the few things I know about writing is this: spend it all, shoot it, play it, lose it, all, right away, every time. Do not hoard what seems good...The impulse to keep to yourself what you have learned is not only shameful, it is destructive. Anything you do not give freely and abundantly becomes lost to you."

how selfish of me to hoard what seems good in my life!

lots of good things have happened to us in the last six months.

mike had a new job opportunity with the same company he had been working for. it seemed promising and exciting but after a few months of thinking it would happen, it fell through. we learned about forgiveness and prayer and patience and that things really do work out but usually not how we expect.

he soon got a better job opportunity with a better company in a new town. we lived apart during the week because his new job was two hours away. that got old. fast. after doing that for a few months, we started looking for a new place to live together and closer to his new job. we got discouraged as we walked through tiny apartments that would cost us more in rent than what we're paying for our house. we waited, searched some more and found a cute little house for rent. it's old but charming with great rounded doorways and windows and a gazebo, not to mention hardwood floors and counter space! oh, the counter space.

we still haven't sold our house, but we here we are: a family again, learning about our new town, driving roads we've never driven, enjoying this beautiful place (have you seen the back side of timpanogas? or strawberry reservoir? it really is beautiful) and feeling a bit like we're just on vacation. some day it will feel like home. until then, we're just happy to be together.

decided

2011-01-03T18:42:00.000-07:00

i've decided to take a blogging break and will be making this blog private in a few days. when/if i come back, i will make it public again. in the meantime, you can reach me by email at kropfcarly@gmail.com :)

thanks for reading, friends!

carly

a christmas miracle

2010-12-22T20:52:00.002-07:00

i had to order a last minute package yesterday. believe me, i would have ordered it much sooner had i known that i would need it by today.

this package cost us $300, had to be refrigerated as soon as i received it or it would be worthless, and required my signature in order for delivery.

i was promised delivery by noon. i called at 2 with the promise that i would have it by 4. at 4:45 i called again and was told they had until 7 pm, and perhaps until the next morning, to deliver it. this becomes a problem because they were delivering it to my work and no one would be there at 7 pm. if the package wasn't delivered until the next morning, it would be ruined unless it was refrigerated overnight.

the shipping company made it very clear to me that they did not offer "refrigeration services" and there was nothing they could do about my package. their distribution center was closed and they didn't even know where the package was.

i cried. i begged them to re-route it, hold it at their office, tell me where the truck was and i'd pick it up myself. i tried to explain that this package could not be left somewhere overnight. i'm sure the poor lady i was talking to had heard excuses and complaints all day from ornery last-minute shoppers who wanted to know where their gifts were. she kept trying to get me off the phone, saying "i'm very sorry for the inconvenience, but there's nothing i can do about it."

i was clearly not making any headway in my desperate attempt to explain to her that this wasn't a gift and i wasn't just a stressed out last-minute shopper.

thankfully we have a friend who works for the shipping company in ogden but lives here in logan. i called him and explained my dilemma, asking if he knew anything i could do. he just happened to be driving right past the distribution center when i called. it was after 5 and i had already been told that they were closed, but they just happened to still be open. they just happened to have my package there, and they allowed him to pick it up for me so i could get it home.

coincidence?
i think not. it was a tender mercy. silly as it may sound, it was a reminder that the lord hasn't forgotten me.
it was a christmas miracle!

traditions

2010-12-20T06:20:00.002-07:00

i have been very lazy with my camera lately, so i have no photos, but we have continued a few traditions this year...

kurt bestor. i think he's incredibly talented, and he has nice hair. i look forward to this concert every year. i also leave every year saying "next year, i'm going to learn to play the trumpet." maybe this will be the year that i follow through on that declaration.

pickleville playhouse. we've seen several of their shows throughout the year. their shows are so entertaining. definitely gets you in the spirit of christmas, and i'm excited to continue this tradition with our kids someday.

the ogden christmas village. i guess it's worth the drive. the company was definitely worth the drive. we took my grandpa with us this year and he was in awe of just about everything we saw: the colored lights on each branch of the trees, the immaculate little houses filled with christmas scenes, even the sidewalk made of pavers. he kept saying, "betty jane would have loved this."

sub for santa. mike and i always enjoy picking out a few gifts for some local elementary school students. this year the school forgot to write down specific sizes, so we had a fun time trying to guess what size of socks and underwear a 7-year-old needs. we are pretty clueless on stuff like that. and on another sub for santa related note: today i wrote an article for work about a sub for santa project we're doing. i received an email back from someone in an office in georgia who read the article and needed clarification of what that meant because in her mind, "a sub is a sandwich." i guess she thought we were giving santa a sandwich?

and of course there's the usual family parties, talent sharing, movie watching, present wrapping, baking & eating and hustling & bustling about. for the first time ever, i was done with my christmas shopping at the beginning of december so the month has been quite enjoyable and stress free.

we need a little christmas!

2010-12-15T09:21:00.009-07:00

have you ever really listened to that song? i had never paid much attention to the lyrics but it's one of my favorites this season. anyway, here's a little glimpse at christmas around our house:

1. classic green+red tree. i found the huge ornaments at tai pan and love them. so do my piano students; hopefully the ornaments survive getting pulled off the tree every week
2. i know this nativity freaks some people out because there are no faces, but i love the simplicity of it
3. my grandpa used to paint a new santa claus every year that represented the santa from different countries. i have about 11 different ones, and this one is my favorite
4. be merry!

1. cami mentioned the theme at her house seems to be glitter. that's the same with mine. i love having a little bling :)
2. we don't have a mantle but this shelf seems to work well. i made the stockings and wreath made last year.
3. candy canes purchased in jackson hole
4. this is my favorite picture; my neighbor painted it for me and gave it to us for our wedding. i will always treasure it.

there you have it. stop by cami's blog to see her adorable vintage christmas decorations and her other blogging friends who have shared links. i've already got a list of things i want to make for next year!

do i do it because i like it, or because i haven't been brave?

2010-12-08T22:01:00.001-07:00

a few months ago, i was ~~blessed~~ told to have courage.
i thought it was interesting counsel.
honestly, courageous or brave is the last word i'd use to describe myself.
i'm a wuss. a creature of habit. scared to do anything i'm at all uncomfortable with.
courage is faith in action, so is my lack of courage really a lack of faith?
i'm not sure of the answer, but to quote from one of my favorite movies:

"sometimes i wonder about my life.
i lead a small life--
well, valuable,
but small--
and sometimes i wonder,
do i do it because i like it,
or because i haven't been brave?
i don't really want an answer.
i just want to send this cosmic
question out into the void.
so good night,
dear void."

christmas lights, keep shining on

2010-12-06T07:14:00.005-07:00

with lovely music like this, how can it not be a happy monday morning? other christmas music i'm loving this year:
still, still, still: jordan bluth
we need a little christmas: glee cast
last christmas: taylor swift
all i want for christmas is you: lady antebellum

reminded

2010-11-28T14:05:00.004-07:00

i was reminded this thanksgiving in a very real way about what's most important to me and what i'm most grateful for. just after we finished our thanksgiving feast, my dad got a call that my grandma allen had passed away.

everything else about the holiday quickly became unimportant. two things mattered: my family and my loving savior, jesus christ, who designed families to last forever.

i am grateful we were all together as a family, and especially grateful that my sweet grandpa was with us, when we got the phone call. i am thankful to know that i will see my grandma again. i am thankful that she didn't suffer but passed away quietly and peacefully. i am thankful for the life she lived, for the children she raised, for the mother and wife she was. she has always been an example to me and especially recently, she has shown me what it means to happily endure to the end and make the most of your current situation. how lucky am i that she was part of my life for 24 years!

this is the first grandparent i've lost, and i will really, really miss her. i'll miss stopping at the nursing home to visit her. i'll miss her humor, her stubborn personality, her stories about packing up the kids and heading home to elko when their heat money ran out or when she just needed a hug from her mom, her to-do lists for my grandpa, and her sincere love and care for all those around her. i am sad that my kids will never know my grandma allen; she would have loved them. in the last few years, she often asked me where my kids were. hopefully she's hanging out with them right now and teaching them the important stuff, like how to knit, how to survive the cold cache valley winters, and how to make marriage last for 60 years. and i hope she'll give them a little encouragement and prodding to come here quickly!

i delight in snow

2010-11-22T16:59:00.004-07:00

because coco goes to the bathroom much faster when the ground is covered with it (she doesn't like squatting out in the cold. can you blame her?) and because the dog poop on our grass is buried so she can't roll around in it. for some reason she has an affinity for rolling around in other dogs' business. thank you snow, for covering it up.

and i also delight in snow because it reminds me how great our neighbors are. i came home today to a clean driveway! thanks bryce!

i delight in hope

2010-11-18T07:00:00.003-07:00

dr laura got me thinking the other day when she told a caller that hope is just delayed disappointment. i guess this could be true if we hope in certain situations or even certain people, but if we add "in christ" to the end of it, hope is anything but delayed disappointment.

elder faust said, "there are tremendous sources of hope beyond our own ability, learning, strength, and capacity. hope is the anchor of our souls. hope is trust in god's promises, faith that if we act now, the desired blessings will be fulfilled in the future."

god has promised that "whose believeth in [me] might with surety hope for a better world."

i love the promise from god that if we believe in him and his son, we can always hope for something better. wrongs will one day be made right, things will work out, and when we can't believe that or possibly see how, we must put our hope and trust in god. god's promises to us will be fulfilled.

delighting in:

2010-11-15T22:04:00.004-07:00

*coming home after a 14+ hour day to freshly baked cookies. my husband is awesome.
*lunch dates with annika and hallie.
*staying up late to discuss christmas gift ideas.
*routine. and the occasional change in routine.
*the new martha stuart living magazine.
*marta's fabulous holiday binder. i need to get organized- only 6 weeks left!
*tuesday nights. i'm learning a lot at institute and feeling a new excitement to study the bible.
*drive-thru windows and the employees at sonic who know exactly what i want when my car pulls up.
*our lovely new oven and the self clean cycle. how did i live without it?!
*the sweet ladies we visited this week who told us that whenever they hear the ambulance in our neighborhood, they call all their friends to make sure the ambulance wasn't coming for them. i hope i have friends like that when i grow up (:
*new family pictures. brittany did a fabulous job. i think i have about 700 photos to edit. it's gonna take me a while.
*jeggings. don't judge. they are so darn comfy.
*my niece, holly, who was looking at the ribbons attached to some balloons and told her mom, "these strings are like aunt carly's hair. they're so curly." she makes me smile.

i delight in balloons

2010-11-03T23:52:00.002-06:00

as winnie the pooh said, nobody can be uncheered by a balloon. these pictures make me so happy.

image credits
1. Above Us Only Sky, 2. N A P T I M E, 3. Hope, 4. 124/365 - "99 red balloons floating in the summer sky. Panic bells, it's red alert. There's something here from somewhere else.", 5. the red balloons, 6. i got sunshine, 7. waiting for the right time to let go, 8. I'll Give You All I Can..., 9. whiteballoonsandalightswitch, 10. It's all cotton candy and balloons from here, 11. Untitled, 12. Bethany and Balloons, 13. Day 316/365 - Balloon Starburst!, 14. rose et balloon., 15. Midsummer, 16. Balloons, 17. zaza's pink party: balloons!, 18. Balloon With Me, 19. Girl with Balloons, 20. The One Pink Balloon, 21. Lines, balloons and pastels, 22. B I R T H D A Y, 23. tagged, 24. Untitled, 25. Cool Balloons Underwater

i delight in the senses

2010-11-01T21:36:00.002-06:00

coco and i went on a walk this afternoon.
walking in the fall is an experience that involves all the senses.
i felt the same excitement as coco as she pranced and lept on the sidewalk.
i saw the fading sunlight, bright blue skies, and lots of joggers trying to get in a good run before the weather changes.

crisp leaves crunched under my feet, and the few leaves left clinging to their trees are still vibrantly colored.

i turned the ipod volume up and listened to ingrid (and a little guggenheim grotto, the band that opened for her).

coco tried to get a group of joggers behind us and ended up running circles around me, leaving me wrapped like a mummy in her leash. i looked like a fool trying to get untangled.

i saw the new christmas window displays in the stores along center street and felt the anticipation of a new season and good things to come.

i love living in this beautiful place.

i am grateful for my senses to take it all in.

delight

2010-11-01T21:08:00.001-06:00

my friend erin has a whole blog dedicated to "daily delights," and i figured i'd shamelessly steal her idea this month and share some things i delight in as a form of having an attitude of gratitude. (did i use enough alliteration and rhyming in that sentence?) i have experienced firsthand that it's impossible to feel anything but immense gratitude when i choose to focus on the many blessings i have. there is much to feel delightful about :)

i've been wanting to tell you about...

2010-10-28T22:16:00.003-06:00

the fascinating and mind-blowing movie, social network.

mike's birthday, which was celebrated with dozens of homemade donuts and dear friends who helped us eat them.

our 4th anniversary.

the debate i'm having about painting my kitchen cabinets white. any of you with white cabinets have an opinion?

my new globe collection.

the ideas brewing in my mind for updated family photos and the best christmas card ever.

the yummy fall treats i've been baking and the naughty dog who discovered she loves pumpkin as much as i do.

the fun evening erin and i had at the ingrid michaelson concert, complete with cafe zupas, a crazy snow storm, and fabulous music. while i wish we saw each other more often, i love that erin and i can go months without seeing each other and still pick up right where we left off.

there's plenty to write about, but apparently i have little to say.

10.1.10

2010-10-01T08:05:00.003-06:00

print found here. wouldn't you love any of the prints from this etsy shop?

it's finally friday! we're ready for what will surely be the perfect fall weekend. we're going to the big football game tonight (dear aggies, if you only win one game all year, let it be this one!), i've got a new book for note taking while watching conference, my fabric is almost all cut to start working on a christmas present for my mother-in-law, and i've got a list of new recipes to try out, including pumpkin bread and cinammon honey butter, french toast casserole, and this variation of cowboy caviar for snacking.

also making me smile this week: the excitement of my piano student, emma, who told her dad as she left her lesson, "i have to play 3 songs in 3 different positions! it's going to be so hard, dad, but i can do it." i wish they always stayed that excited about learning to play the piano. and coco, who recently discovered grasshoppers. she doesn't want to eat them, but they make great "toys" because she pounces and they hop away, which means she is totally entertained by trying to catch the uncatchable bugs.

happy first of october.

perhaps

2010-09-25T01:23:00.001-06:00

perhaps i'm being selfish.

perhaps the thing i want most has consumed me and confused me and upset me so much that now i'm just being selfish.
perhaps i want the wrong thing and perhaps i want something i can't have.
perhaps i should stop putting "all my eggs in one basket," but i honestly don't feel strong enough to start perusing a different path right now. i don't know if i am strong enough.
perhaps jonathon safran foer was on to something when he wrote, "I tried the key in all the doors, even though he said he didn’t recognize it. It’s not that I didn’t trust him, because I did. It’s that at the end of my search I wanted to be able to say: I don’t know how I could have tried harder."

and perhaps i just need to keep trying harder,
taking all the turns down the road i'm on before doing a u-turn,
exhausting all the options so that i can one day say, i don't know how i could have tried harder.

perhaps.

when all you can do is laugh

2010-09-14T17:36:00.004-06:00

exhibit a: i played the wrong hymn during our sacrament meeting last week. there i am, playing the introduction to what i thought was the right song, and the chorister runs over to me and starts hitting the hymn book, pointing to the song on the other side of the page. how does one recover from that? the chapel is totally quiet, everyone is listening and getting ready to sing, and there's really no way to discreetly start playing a different hymn after you've started playing the wrong one. i wanted to crawl in a hole and never play the organ in front of anyone ever again. when i had to go back up to play the rest hymn, mike so kindly reminded me which number it was so i didn't play the wrong one again.

exhibit b: i was driving the other day when a 5-gallon bucket flew out of the truck in front of me and i hit it. it got stuck way under my car and made a really awful sound as it scraped against the road. who runs over a 5-gallon bucket and manages to get it lodged underneath the back end of the car? i gradually made my way off to the shoulder and tried to look under my car like i knew what i was doing and how to get the bucket unstuck, but let's be honest, i couldn't even reach the bucket unless i layed flat on the asphalt and i was in a white shirt and skirt. not happening. i tried to kick the bucket with my foot. no luck. i squatted down and stretched my arm as far as it could reach, but i wasn't close to touching the bucket. i stood back up laughing and praying that someone would feel inclined to stop and help. lo and behold, a sheriff saw me pulled off to the side and came over to get the bucket unstuck. it's the only time in my life i've been grateful to see those flashing red and blue lights behind me.

needless to say, i've laughed at myself a lot this week.

you say goodbye, i say hello

2010-09-07T22:33:00.012-06:00

summer 2010 was all about
taking a break,
feeling the best i've felt in months,
acupuncture,
weddings, weddings, weddings,
grilling our food whenever possible,
watching 24, friday night lights, and food network,
showing my stuff on the golf course and proving to the husband that the golf lessons i had in 9th grade were worth every dime,
boycotting night games at the parents' house so that i don't run in to a snake,
shopping at the farmer's market,
blasting california gurls at every chance (and laughing when mike sings + dances along),
reading extremely loud & incredibly close, i need thee every hour, history of love,
re-reading old favorites crossing to safety, a wrinkle in time, the cricket in times square,
vacationing with family + friends,
experiencing tuacahn for the first time,
growing our first garden: cherry + roma tomatoes, corn, and peppers,
staying up way past my bedtime, and
a priesthood blessing of strength + courage

i think i'll remember summer 2010 as just what i needed. the perfect kind of summer, really. but i think i'm ready to see fall teach summer who's boss. good luck, fall, you have big shoes to fill.

mr + mrs

2010-08-26T17:32:00.009-06:00

we began celebrating the wedding on tuesday night. after setting up orchids and picture frames as center pieces at the coppermill (tangent: and i didn't help do any of that because i was frantically hunting for red jewelry...thankfully a wonderful lady in smithfield makes and sells cheap and cute jewelry and she had red! august is a hard month to find anything red.) so after everyone else set things up at the coppermill, we were hoping to take leslie out for dinner and a movie while the boys went golfing. but we couldn't steal her away from everything she had going on, so my mom, didi, paige, and i had a bachelorette party sans the bachelorette.

didi and paige slept over tuesday night. it was a big party trying to get 3 girls and 1 boy ready wednesday morning. mike simply asked for 20 minutes in the bathroom to shave + shower. i am proud to report that he got what he wanted, but not a second more.

the spirit was so strong in the wedding ceremony. i think everyone left feeling uplifted. we were reminded how wonderful drew and leslie are, how much they are loved, and how much lies ahead for the two of them. i know the sealer wasn't talking to me, but as he told drew and leslie how loved they are, i felt the same way: i am loved. i am a child of god. i know this is true.

their reception was held outside and the weather couldn't have been better. it cooled off nicely and it didn't rain! i thoroughly enjoyed their reception- i got to catch up with many dear friends who came to support them. my feet were blistered and swollen by the end of the night, and we went home exhausted, but it was all worth it. it was a great day.

unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe....

2010-08-19T21:50:00.002-06:00

BLONDE. although she looks like a misfit in our family (short, blonde, skinny little thing) we love this spunky lady. i am beyond thrilled to have her as my sister. the wedding was fabulous. photos coming soon.

why yes,

2010-08-10T21:53:00.004-06:00

i did make the wreath shown in this picture and my previous post. i may have stayed up until 2 am a few nights trying to get them done in time, and i may have burned blisters on half my fingers, but i love how they turned out. (especially the yellow one) i found instructions for making the roses here and decided to make wreaths instead of the round balls. super fun and cheap project.

2010-08-05T21:42:00.003-06:00

Amid the vastness of God's creations, His personal shaping influence is felt in the details of our lives, not only in the details of the galaxies and molecules but, much more importantly, in the details of our own lives. Somehow God is providing individual tutorials for us...it is marvelous that He attends to us so personally.

-Elder Neal A. Maxwell

oh what do you do in the summertime?

2010-07-25T20:09:00.004-06:00

the giggles

2010-07-02T07:13:00.002-06:00

last night i was mid-sneeze, taking in the big "ah ahhhh" right before the "choo," and mike slammed the bedroom door shut which scared me so bad that my sneeze went away. conmpletely disappeared. he thought it was so funny that he randomly opened and closed our bedroom door for half the night, hoping to scare a sneeze out of me or make me forget about my allergies or something.

then we got laughing so hard that suddently everything was funny. coco's snoring. the window air conditioner. my sleep talking about gathering 137 pine needles for the wedding. mike's snoring which sounds exactly like the neigh of a horse. we decided to talk to each other only in rhymes, and we got really good at making every word rhyme with whatever the last person had said.

as i laid there laughing, i felt so content. i was really happy about my life right now: just me, my husband and our crazy coco, living in a cute little house with dry grass full of morning glory.

i could not ask for more.

loving

2010-06-10T06:30:00.003-06:00

1. word mole. have you played it? i'm addicted.

2. this movie trailer. i'm excited to read the book again before the movie comes out.

3. the rain. everything is so green and beautiful.

4. thursday. it happens to be my favorite day, especially when there's nothing on the to-do list except straightening up my little home and hanging out with my husband.

5. the after-effects of a long, intense foot zone. i have slept better in the last two nights than i have in my whole life.

6. double-dates with my little brother and his fiance. although sometimes their PDA makes me want to throw up a little in my mouth (and mike and i swear we were never THAT lovey/kissy/annoying...), i love love having them here in logan and spending time with them.

7. a new playlist...favorite songs include have you ever (brandi carlile), gone away (lucy schwartz), if you think you need some lovin' (pomplamoose), rocket surgery (amy kuney), and can't help falling in love (ingrid michaelson)

8. speaking of playlists, playlist.com is a great place to test out a song before purchasing it. love.

9. this quote: "some people strengthen others just by being the kind of people they are." i am surrounded by old and new friends who are making me a stronger person.

10. and finally, this "to-do" list. i have yet to decide what my one thing will be.

wait

2010-05-28T13:58:00.004-06:00

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried:
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate,
And the Master so gently said, 'Child, you must wait'.

'Wait? You say, wait! ' my indignant reply.
'Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By Faith, I have asked, and am claiming your Word.
My future and all to which I can relate
hangs in the balance, and you tell me to WAIT?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
or even a 'no' to which I can resign.
And Lord, You promised that if we believe
we need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply!

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As my Master replied once again, 'You must wait.'

So, I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut
and grumbled to God, 'So, I'm waiting.... for what?'
He seemed, then, to kneel, and His eyes wept with mine,
And he tenderly said, 'I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead, and cause mountains to run.
All you seek, I could give, and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint;
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint;
You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there;
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence were all you could see.

You'd never experience that fullness of love
As the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove;
You'd know that I give and I save.... (for a start),
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
The glow of My comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight,
The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked
Of an infinite God, who makes what you have last.
You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that 'My grace is sufficient for Thee.'

Yes, your dreams for your loved one overnight would come true,
But, Oh, the Loss! If I lost what I'm doing in you!
So, be silent, My Child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.
And though oft' may My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still, 'WAIT.

thank you, jacki, for introducing me to the blog where i found this incredible poem. it was just what i needed today.

california

2010-05-21T18:32:00.014-06:00

we are always looking for reasons to go to california. mike feels it's his second home since he served his mission there. my cousin ashley got married last weekend so we had the perfect excuse to go. it just so happened that one of my favorite bloggers, marta, was in attendance at the wedding. she is just as adorable and sweet as i imagined. i kept telling mike that i felt like i knew her, yet i had never met her before. i guess that's a sign of a great writer. i'm pretty sure i acted like a deer in the headlights when my cousin introduced us; i want to be like her when i grow up :) in addition to beach time and family time, mike and i went to an angels game to cheer for the opposing team, the a's. mike informed me that the next time we go to california, we should go to oakland so he can see them play on their home field. baseball is not my favorite sport, but it was a bit more exciting in real life :)
and the reason we went: ashley and peter. weddings make me cry. happy tears, of course, and this was no exception. they are darling. the wedding was exquisite: pink, tiffany blue, flowers, a big band, delicious dinner and hand-dipped ice cream bars for dessert, dancing and sparklers to end the evening.
and just for giggles, my cousin's adorable claire, who decided that she really wants to be a pole dancer when she grows up.

we hope it doesn't take 3 years to make it back again. thank you, california, for sending us home with color to our skin, less stress in our heads, and a skip to our step. you really rejuvinated us.

the graduate

2010-05-08T10:44:00.005-06:00

he did it! i'm so proud of my hubby who is a first-generation college graduate. he has worked hard to get here. we tried to drag out the celebrations over a couple weekends. last weekend, amanda hosted a get together with all the kropfs and we were glad to have bethie and jacki there. last night, my parents treated us to dinner at maddox, and tonight we have one final shin dig to finish off the parties. way to go, mike. sure am proud of ya ;)

2010-05-04T17:23:00.002-06:00

"Christ's Atonement elevates us on our best days and comforts and heals us on our worst days."

-David Vandagriff, I Need Thee Every Hour

i bought this book because it has a pretty cover. and because i love the title. it was a good thing i judged this book by its cover; it was incredible. i have marked and highlighted and flagged something on nearly every page of the book. some books on the Atonement feel so heavy and overwhelming. this book simply discusses our day-to-day difficulties and how the Atonement not only gets us through, but helps us become better. if you're looking for an uplifting read (or a mother's day gift), this book is a great choice.

a lovely thought

2010-04-21T07:16:00.003-06:00

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

And as we let our own light shine,

we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

-Marianne Williamson

2010-04-16T12:43:00.003-06:00

i probably should have prefaced my last post by saying that i honestly wasn't fishing for compliments. as i reread it, it sounds a bit like i was walking into a room saying "do you like my new shirt?! VALIDATE ME." anyway, thank you for your sweet words. i was simply trying to say that i think we all feel inadequate at times, and as several of you said in your comments, the challenge is to find ways to use our insecurities, imperfections, and inadequacies to become better rather than allowing them to make us despair.

i am hosting dinner for my family this sunday. my grandparents will be joining, and talk about nerves. you can't prepare enough for having the two most OCD women in the world over for dinner in one little, dirty house. at the same time. oy. and they are both excellent cooks; what do you cook for them? a trusty pioneer woman recipe, of course. she promises that drip beef means scrumptious. crowd pleasing. yummy. i made it once before and it was all of those things. don't fail me now, pioneer woman.

happy friday! image found here

2010-04-01T18:27:00.004-06:00

there's something about a man named michael that makes my heart swoon.

both this one:

and this one:

i would gladly fork out $100 to see him in concert again. he puts on the best concert. he is so entertaining, humble (you can read more about that here), and his voice is amazing. my favorite may have been this song:

he made a comment that the hardest songs to hear/sing are often the ones that touch us the most. how true that is; music has a way of saying something that can't be said any other way. he closed the show by taking out his ear piece and singing the final song with no microphone- just him standing in the middle of the stage and belting it out. my mom, kennedy, and i had a grand time.

coco needs a friend

2010-03-25T16:16:00.005-06:00

i think my dog needs a new friend.

like a bulldog.

or a beagle.

or a baby.

just sayin'.

ETA: NOT an announcement. but i think #3 is a great choice.

the "coughs" go to salt lake

2010-03-13T11:33:00.006-07:00

please excuse my lame title. but i just realized that my last name sounds a lot like cough. i guess two weeks of dayquil, robitussin, and cough drops will do that to you. but i can't help but wonder...if my last name were spelled krough, would people have an easier time spelling and saying it?

anyway. i gave mike tickets on his birthday way back in october to see brian regan this weekend. we had been looking forward to it for months, and were planning to go to park city and spend a couple days with bethie and jacki after the show. however, mike got sick last thursday and i got sick on sunday and we have both been miserably sick. coughing nonstop. no voice. terrible headaches. but we couldn't cancel our tickets or hotel reservations so we went anyway. we had a great time. brian regan is hilarious. i coughed through the whole show because i couldn't stop laughing. they say laughter is the best medicine, and it was :)

this is one of my favorite bits of his.

pretty things

2010-03-05T06:38:00.005-07:00

i NEED this!

isn't it lovely? so are these notecards-i'm feeling very peaceful today.
i'm thankful
to feel calm in my heart
for the sunshine after a storm
for good friends
for people who care
for the weekend
for pretty fabric
and
for many reasons to feel hopeful and happy.
life is good.

then and now

2010-02-27T09:24:00.019-07:00

i'm searching through old photos for an upcoming relief society activity and feeling all sentimental after finding these cute and not so cute pictures. thankfully we've all come a long way since some of these were taken :)

family then....now....cousins then...

now.... puppy lovers then.... now....sisters then....now.... best friends then....now...

love day

2010-02-15T17:57:00.013-07:00

it felt like we celebrated this fun little holiday all weekend. we played a homemade version of the newlywed game with friends on friday night. it was quite funny trying to match answers with the husband and finally getting him to answer the question, what's your favorite meal that your wife cooks? his answer: chimichangas. (my guess: calzones) good to know what his favorite is, because he will never answer that question when i ask him. we also played "i've never" and learned all sorts of fun things about each other.

for our date on saturday, we planned on eating at texas roadhouse, but when we called at 5 pm the wait was 2 hours! who wants to wait 2 hours for dinner? not i. so we ate at bajio instead, which in my opinion is just as good as texas roadhouse. then we went to a play done by pickleville playhouse called the hanging of el bandito. it was hilarious, and i love supporting their shows because most of them are written by a local guy here in cache valley.

we spent the real v-day enjoying a yummy dinner - pioneer woman's drip beef (thanks for the idea chels!) and i got to take a long nap while mike attended EQ meetings. now that drew is also living in logan, my family likes to drive up and visit more often :) so we spent the afternoon playing catch phrase and laughing off all the calories from dinner. cheesy as it may be...we love this holiday!

this week....

2010-02-03T20:33:00.008-07:00

mike and i were held captive in the temple. it was crazy busy, and what normally takes 1.5 hours took over 3 hours. it was so busy that we had to take turns walking in the hallways and the temple workers made us wait an extra 10-15 minutes in every room we were in. no better place to be held captive than the temple, though!

i had to spell my last name out about 50 times, and 45 out of 50 people didn't listen to me to say " k-r-o-p as in paul f as in frank" and frantically called back because their email wouldn't go through. would it be rude to tell people that if they don't listen and get it right the first time, i will not spell it again? didn't think so.

i bought a new solia straightener because my CHI broke. i liked the CHI better.

i had all intentions of starting to deep clean the kitchen but went dress shopping with didi instead. dress shopping was much more fun.

mike and i realized how much we love logan and hope to stay here after he graduates. it's our home.

i treated myself to a hot fudge brownie shake from charlie's. while i didn't need it, i definitely deserved it :)

i found the greatest online to-do list form at teuxdeux.com. anything you don't get done on one day automatically transfers to the next day. i feel much more organized in just the few days i've been using it.

i scrubbed the linoleum floor.

i spent all of our FSA money.

AND

i realized that my hair is long enough to chew on.

oh the exciting life i live!

2010-01-28T13:12:00.006-07:00

there are times in life when words cannot express what you're feeling. the only thing adequate is music. this week it has been the 500 days of summer soundtrack (the movie is as amazing as the soundtrack. loved it.) and this beautiful song by noah and the whale. it just might make you cry.

today

2010-01-22T16:00:00.001-07:00

a trip to the library + fresh flowers + puppy prints in the snow + notes in the mail

happy friday.

a week of firsts

2010-01-11T21:21:00.001-07:00

*mike's first day of his last semester of school. yipee!

*for the first time in months, and perhaps years, we stayed awake for a whole movie. usually we start it one night and finish it the next because we fall asleep, but we made it all the way through the proposal in one. night.

*i got a new calling as the first counselor in relief society! i put an exclamation point cause it's kind of funny. i have no clue what i'm doing. it will definitely be a learning experience, and i feel completely inadequate, but when i was set apart i felt that there is a reason i have this calling.

*i had my first go at making homemade gravy. it turned out pretty okay! at least it wasn't bland, which has always been my fear with making my own gravy. i get nervous with the salt & pepper, afraid that i will add too much. i used the pioneer woman's recipe which also involved chicken fried steak. it was gross. really gross. i think the cube steak was old or something because it was really chewy.

*my little brother is living in logan for his first semester of college. drew has been a welcome houseguest, though feeding two boys proves much more expensive than feeing one. coco LOVES when drew comes over. she paces between the front and back door all night just waiting for him to walk in.

*i took coco running for the first time this winter. it was a red air day in logan, but it was so nice to get out and run. a really weird thing happened while i was running, though. i felt like i was in the middle of a scene from 24. a few blocks ahead of me, this cop had parked across the street from an old beater car. 4 teenagers were standing around the car, and as the cop is walking towards them, one of the kids pulls a gun on the cop. the cop put his hands in the air and started walking back towards his car. i look up and realize i'm running towards a kid standing in the middle of the street holding a cop at gunpoint. all sorts of things start going through my mind. this kid is going to hold me hostage! i'm really tired and i won't be able to run fast enough to get away from him! he's going to grab me and tell me to control my dog but she will be too excited to sit still! then i realized i should probably call 911 or something so another cop can come help the situation. i wasn't very close to any houses, so i turned the other way and kept running to find a house where i could knock on the door (note to self: run with your cell phone from now on). when i turned back around, the cop was inside of his car and the kid wasn't holding his gun out anymore, so i figured the situation was under control, and i just kept running home. it was crazy.

and it's only monday! it's going to be a good week.

2010-01-07T21:32:00.004-07:00

obviously i failed miserably at taking a picture a day for the last half of december. oops.

i blogged yesterday, then deleted the post because it sounded like i was wallowing. frankly, i spent the last half of december wallowing, but it's a new year and i don't want my first post to be a 'poor me' post. despite the major breakdown in the middle of december, our holidays were great. we watched a lot of football & a season of 24. we spent our time with family. we thanked God for the birth & life of His son. we opened & exchanged gifts. we helped bethie & jacki move. we watched movies. we cooked new recipes & i sewed a few baby gifts. we got together with friends & spent a whole week with very little on our to-do list. we needed the break.

i usually feel so motivated at the beginning of a new year. and i should really be feeling it this year- it's the beginning of a new decade! i make more lists than usual and get excited about setting goals and evaluating the many areas i can improve in during the next year. i haven't felt that at all this year. for some reason i'm missing that refreshing new year feeling. nonetheless, i have a few resolutions.

first, i would like to start using coupons, but i'll be honest, everytime i try to read one of the million coupon blogs about getting started, i get lost in the acronyms like B2G1 and OOP and ES and RP....i could go on. i quit reading by the third sentence because the sentences aren't even sentences, they are just capital letters. and i have no clue what any of them stand for. so maybe my resolution should be to figure out the lingo?

second, i will be using this as a guide for giving our home a good deep cleaning. my mom will be proud.

third, i will be attending extracurricular relief society activities.

and finally, i am going to try try try not to breakdown each month. i can't crash again like i did in december. my tear ducts will dry out, i will have a never-ending headache, and my husband might just put me in the psychiatric ward.

here's to coupons, cleaning, church activities, and no more breakdowns. happy 2010.

december daily 8-14

2009-12-15T17:38:00.009-07:00

december 8: i love putting wrapped presents under the tree. it's like putting away folded laundry. the hard part is over :)
december 9: after a great meeting in ogden, i spent some time christmas shopping with my mom. i swear every year that i'm going to be done with my shopping before december, but i never am. oh well, i guess the hustle and bustle is part of the christmas spirit, right? my mom and i had a fun afternoon and shopped our little hearts out.

on my drive home through sardine canyon, i had a sudden and very distinct thought that i should slow down and watch for deer. i've driven the canyon hundreds of times and have only seen dead deer or deer off in the distance, so it was weird to me that i would suddenly think about seeing deer in the road. thankfully, i slowed down, and sure enough, as i turned the corner a herd of 10+ deer were standing in both lanes of traffic. had i not been going slower, i wouldn't have been able to stop in time and i wouldn't have just hit 1 deer, i would have hit 4 or 5. i am so thankful for the little 'tender mercies' that remind me someone is watching out for me!

december 10: today...

tastes like

*oranges

*hot chocolate

*fresh honey

feels like

*hot flashes & crying

sounds like

*coco is sliding across the linoleum floor

*the tv & radio are going at the same time

looks like

*it's 40 degrees outside, but it's actually 10

*i must go grocery shopping

*a top secret christmas gift
december 11: another 'tender mercy' as i was driving home from yet another day spent in ogden (no shopping this time though. sad.)...my mom bought me the new hilary weeks christmas cd, christmas once again. i have always loved hilary weeks' music, and this cd is no exception. it really is beautiful. my favorite song adds a couple verses to "silent night." as i heard this song, i felt an overwhelming sense of peace and reassurance that someday, i will be humming this same lullaby to my own baby.

on this silent, holy night
as i hold this precious child
there are no words for this moment.
heaven and earth
meet in my arms, tonight
he is mine, and yet, he is God's.
sleep now, sleep my son
sleep in peace.

december 12: merry early christmas...a front loading washer & dryer! our house no longer rattles when we turn on the washer. it's so quiet that i wonder if it's actually working.

december 13: we braved the awful weather so that i could play the piano in my parents' ward for our neighbors' mission homecoming. (sidenote: i got so nervous that i picked my nails/cuticles the whole time and now they are a bloody, raw mess which is problematic because i have to play again this sunday. there's nothing left to pick or pull!) sometimes i really miss my old ward. such great people and leadership. we also got to visit mark + annika and meet their new baby, hallie. oh my, she is perfect, and we are so happy for them!

.december 14: got to play with my niece and nephew tonight. holly was my little shadow and helped me with the pins on the above-mentioned top secret project.

december daily 1-7

2009-12-07T19:43:00.010-07:00

i have always wanted to do a december daily album like ali edwards. of course i don't usually plan far enough in advance to complete an album ahead of time...but i figured i could at least take a picture and write a little bit about each day in december. i know it's cliche, but december is my favorite time of year. and this year is the best december EVER because it has been completely stress free. (yay for no finals)

december 1: i went for the traditional red and green christmas tree this year. unfortunately, tai pan ran out of the big red ornaments that i bought, so the tree looks a little lopsided because there aren't enough ornaments. but i'm really excited we have a pre-lit tree that stands straight...our hand-me-down (thanks becky!) tree was great for a couple years, but we love our new one. *

december 2: finished our christmas stockings. still deciding if i should hand-stitch our names on the top?

december 3: coco has tried her hardest to leave the shiny ornaments alone. this is her favorite spot to sit and stare at them. *

december 4: finished our christmas table runner. is it bad that i used the machine instead of hand-stitching the binding? *

december 5: for the first time ever, the annual allen party wasn't held at my grandma's house. since she is in the nursing home, we celebrated there. i love the tradition of reading the christmas story and receiving a visit from santa. we are lucky that my grandma is still with us and her health has improved a lot in the last several months. *
december 6: worked on another little project but ran out of red paint.

*
december 7: i may or may not have been listening to this music for a couple months now...but here are some of the songs i'm loving this year.

project overload

2009-11-20T22:37:00.007-07:00

i feel slightly guilty that while mike is spending all evening on campus, i get to stay home and play. i have used the lonely nights to complete several projects....

1: pillow. i will definitely be making more of these. it's made from felt (CHEAP!) and the flower clusters down the center are made by pinching about 70 3" circles in the middle and hand sewing each circle on. make sense? i'll try to find the tutorial i found on etsy for making this. it was fun.

2: give thanks. a little paint, a little paper, a little mod podge, a little ribbon, and ta-da!

3: shelf. mike's friend ben built this awesome shelf for us when we got married. we couldn't hang it in our apartment, and when we bought our house, it was one of those things that we always talked about finishing but never did. so 3 years later, it is painted and hanging on the wall, just waiting for the perfect accessories to go on top of it. 4: christmas throw. this one turned out a little retarded. my sqaures don't match up AT ALL. if you look at the front and back at the same time, well it's quite embarassing. but i love the pom pom trim and i learned that i will probably not be making any blankets/quilts in the near future. too much cutting, pinning, and measuring for me :)now that i've finished some projects, i can dive in to my christmas fabric stash to make soft trees, stockings, and a table runner.

name them one by one...

2009-11-16T21:09:00.005-07:00

"the man who forgets to be thankful has fallen asleep in life!"

***

a few things i'm thankful for...

being thankful is really easy when things are going your way, right? it's easy to recognize our blessings when we feel so content that we couldn't possibly want another thing in life. however, when things aren't going the way we plan or hope or want, it can be challenging to notice the blessings we have and express gratitude for them. elder bednar gave a talk in general conference not too long ago and told a story about having a general authority visit his family when he was president at BYU idaho. a tragedy had recently happened in the community (don't remember exactly what it was) but the general authority counseled elder bednar's wife to offer a prayer to the lord where she only THANKED him for their blessings. have you ever tried to say a prayer where you only thanked the lord? i am guilty of praying most fervently when i'm asking him for something, not thanking him for all i have. so my goal for the rest of the month is to wake up and thank the lord for my many blessings. to pay more attention to his hand in my life and to express more gratitude to him for all he has done for me.

elder allen

2009-11-07T19:41:00.008-07:00

he's here! and cute and wonderful as ever. i love my little brother. i will never ever forget the look on his face (and my mom's) when he got off that escalator at the airport late wednesday night. we were all waiting with anticipation, watching as the screen said he would be landing at 9:00, then 9:07, and finally when the words flashed that he had landed.when we saw him, i think we all lost it. we vowed not to cry because we were all a mess when we said goodbye, but we couldn't help it when we saw him. there was so much emotion when he hugged my mom. i wish i would have had my camera handy, but that image will forever remain in my mind. it was awesome. we didn't embarrass him too much. just had a big sign and cheered as he came down :) mike and i were fortunate enough to spend the rest of the weekend with my family and attend my cousin's wedding. there is no better place to spend a little time than at a temple wedding ceremony. i love this time of year when we reflect on how much we have to be thankful for, and our families are definitely at the top of the list.

10 step program

2009-10-29T17:56:00.002-06:00

found on this blog. too funny not to share! my favorite is number 4, as trying to get babies in pajamas proves to be much like trying to put an octapus in a mesh bag without any arms sticking out :)

Thinking of Having Kids?
Do This 10 Step Program First

Lesson 1
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline
2. Lack of patience
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels
4. Allowing their children to run wild
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 2
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing approx. 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
2. At 10pm, put the bag down gently, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at midnight and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1am.
4. Set alarm for 3am.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45.
7. Get up at 3am when alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4am.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive.)
Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 3
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 4
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus in the bag so that none of the arms hang out.
Time allowed for this- all morning.

Lesson 5
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle Cheerios all over the floor, them smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 6
Go to the grocery store. Take the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goats eat or destroy. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 7
1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.
You are now ready to feed a 9 month-old baby.

Lesson 8
Learn the names of every character from all shows on PBS, the Disney Channel and Noggin. Watch nothing else on TV but shows from these channels for at least 5 years. (I know, you're thinking "what is Noggin?") Exactly the point.

Lesson 9
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 10
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from lesson 9 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

i wish it were friday

2009-10-28T12:30:00.001-06:00

but since it's only wednesday, here's a little glimpse at life right now.
outside my window.... bright yellow leaves are peeking through a layer of wet snow
i am thinking.... about lunch & the fact that drew gets home one week from today!
i am thankful for... our jobs, my doctor, a considerate husband, my ipod, our little home, and living close to the temple
from the kitchen... pumpkin chocolate chip bread
i am wearing.... jeans and a hoodie. yay for cold weather
i am creating... gifts for a baby shower and a felt pillow
i am going... to take a couple days off next week and spend lots of time with family
i am reading.... the infinite atonement by tad r. callister. it's wonderful
i am hoping.... that i can keep resisting the donut that someone strategically placed right in front of me.
i am hearing.... "for once in my life" by michael buble
around the house.... muddy linoleum floor. i can't keep it clean!
one of my favorite things... snuggling under the rag quilt and watching so you think you can dance. i wish i could dance.
plans for the week.... teaching piano tonight, baby shower tomorrow, murder mystery party friday.
a picture to share.... (not my picture, but a picture of the felt pillow i used as inspiration for the one i'm making)

3 down, 70 to go

2009-10-18T21:00:00.003-06:00

what i can't see is how i'm ever gonna love you more,

but i've said that before.

now you're my whole life,

now you're my whole world...

we'll look back someday

at this moment that we're in,

and i'll look at you and say,

and i thought i loved you then.

27

2009-10-13T06:30:00.002-06:00

i decided to jump on the bandwagon and share with you just 27 of the reasons i love this guy so much....

1. i've said it before, and i'll say it again: he doesn't just offer me a shoulder to cry on, he cries with me.

2. he cannot keep secrets.

3. he is always right. there's no point arguing with him.

4. he is level-headed and rational.

5. he randomly starts dancing in the grocery store aisles. LOVE that :)

6. he knows everything about sports. seriously, i don't know how he knows all the random little details about every team, player, and coach.

7. he loves coco.

8. he is always hot, and i am always cold. works well.

9. he has a testimony and lives it.

10. he is the best listener, and unlike most guys, he's really okay to just listen and not feel the need to solve all my problems.

11. he gently reminds me when i'm being irrational and crazy. (which lately has been quite often...)

12. he respects his parents.

13. he is a great budgeter.

14. he is a first-generation college student and will be graduating in may. hip hip!

15. he likes to snuggle. (or more like he knows i like to snuggle so he pretends :) )

16. he gets excited when i sew cute things.

17. he gets along with everyone.

18. i still get butterflies in my stomach when i hear his voice on the other end of the phone.

19. while i am playing postlude on the organ, he'll sneak up behind me and start singing his own version of the hymn i am playing. i can never keep a straight face.

20. he hates halloween (and byu) as much as i do!

21. he plays the air guitar or drums when his favorite songs come on the car radio.

22. he pretends to like everything i cook.

23. he loves expensive pens and pencils.

24. he served an honorable mission and still loves talking about it.

25. his nickname is goldberg. goldberg always was my favorite wrestler :)

26. he opens every door for me. very chivalrous.

27. he makes me want to be a better person.

happy birthday babe! i love ya!

*the weekend

2009-10-05T17:36:00.006-06:00

*in photo form

make an autumn wish

2009-09-30T22:06:00.007-06:00

the woods are full of fairies,
the sea is full of fish,
the trees are full of golden leaves,
let's make an autumn wish.

i'm wishing....
+for this canvas, found here

+that jalepeno poppers from arbys were healthy.

+that our stupid dog could not escape from her kennel. i wish she could entertain herself without finding shoes to destroy, floors to chew on, and small holes to stick her head through.

+for one of these lovely journals

+for plane tickets to new york and broadway tickets to bye bye birdie. uncle jesse as mr. albert peterson? yes please.
+for a shopping spree to suppose.

+for this washer and dryer-

+for these adorable baby shoes, found here. and perhaps for a baby to put in them.

a girl can wish, right? what are you wishing for?

the time traveler's wife

2009-09-17T20:55:00.002-06:00

is it sad that i went to a movie by myself tonight? mike had to work late, and i knew he didn't really want to see the movie anyway, so i just went. maybe the saddest part is that i left the theater as a mascara-smeared, snot-dripping mess, and i was alone.

i finished the book on wednesday and haven't stopped thinking about it since. it took me a while to figure out what was going on with the whole time travel thing, but it was worth plowing through. it's the kind of book that makes you hate it has to end, that makes you cry with the characters, that makes you think how you would react in their shoes, and whether you'd really like to know the future. the book reminded me what a sacred relationship marriage can be, and after i finished, i felt zeal and excitement to live life as it is right now instead of always wondering or worrying about what's next.

sadly, the movie lacked character development, and i was really hoping they would show some of the art clare created. rachel mcadams is adorable and perfect as clare. eric bana, however, should probably stick to providing his voice only for movies because he can't act. i was disappointed. read the book instead. it's wonderful.

today~

2009-09-15T17:32:00.001-06:00

a salesman called my place of employment and asked to talk to my parents. ha! there's an easy way to loose a sale. and do i really sound like i'm 10 when i answer the phone?
*
i don't know how i feel about getting work emails on my blackberry. it just means that i have more places to delete emails, and at 9:00 pm, i still receive messages from everyone who's upset about construction projects. lame.
*

i bought a diet coke that was completely flat. it was like drinking diluted maple syrup. i'm sure it's a sign that i shouldn't be drinking it.
*
my little sister called someone who shall remain nameless a BAFOON. i'm going to find a way to work that word in all my future sentences.
*
i cried after reading this post from the rockstar diaries . haven't we all felt the same as naomi when she said, "i'm struggling for air right now and don't want to talk about it. perhaps someday. when i'm more courageous and trusting. when i'm a braver version of me."

i'm trying to be a braver version of me.
*

the good and the bad, part two

2009-09-10T21:10:00.002-06:00

the good:

spending time with family.

roasting hot dogs on the fire.

banana boats.

cool weather.

relaxing.

listening to the elk bugle at night.

signal mountain nachos.

driving around the park in search of animals.

baby moose.

hiking to hidden falls.

the view from the top of signal mountain.

sweatshirts and blankets.

the bad:

mike got the flu bug and has been one sick boy for the last few days.

no sleep.

everything we brought home smells like smoke. including my hair.

i didn't see any bears. i didn't die. i actually had a great time, even though i came home completely exhausted because i maybe got 12 hours of sleep over the three-day weekend. sleeping bags are not my forte, as i move around waaay too much when i sleep to be confined to such a small space. mike had the same problem. we tried sleeping in the car one night, and i don't think that was any better than the sleeping bag. but that's really my only complaint. other than i'm still trying to catch up on laundry and i hate feeling dirty which you feel the whole time while camping. okay, done complaining. we love the tetons, and it was surely an experience to enjoy them while camping :)

the good and the bad

2009-09-03T16:24:00.004-06:00

the good:
no blackberry, no laptop, no voicemail
no yard work or house work
no coco
spending time with family
four whole days with mike
enjoying the beauty of nature :)
relaxing, reading, and writing
canoeing and hiking

the bad:
BEARS
sleeping in a tent
cold and wet weather, while sleeping in a tent
no shower
dirt under my fingernails
mud everywhere
camping
spending time with family
packing for a camping trip...i have no idea what to take??

i am not a camper. i am freaked out that a bear might eat me. i hope it doesn't rain all weekend, but most of all, i hope we survive my first camping trip since i was....12. please pray we don't die in the tetons this weekend.

taylor jared

2009-09-02T21:42:00.003-06:00

meet our first nephew, taylor jared:he's so little, wrinkly, and sweet. sharon did it all natural again. what a woman.

2009-08-26T10:53:00.005-06:00

a new favorite quote that i've added to the sidebar...

fear less.

hope more.

eat less.

chew more.

sigh less.

breathe more.

hate less.

love more

and all good things are yours.

what good things do you wish were yours?

another project

2009-08-18T18:24:00.006-06:00

we have some friends in our ward who are expecting their first baby and they aren't going to find out what they're having. i think it's awesome because no one does that anymore (especially with their first), but it has been quite difficult to find a gender-neutral baby gift.

i saw the cutest sock animals ever -- seriously, go look at how cute they are -- on this website and knew i wanted to make one. i can't decide if i love the elephant, though. and we are having a debate about the blue and red. mike things it looks too girlish with the red, i think everything looks quite boyish because i used a lot of blue. what do you think?

summer lovin

2009-08-16T20:24:00.006-06:00

i haven't been to tony's grove since a 6th grade field trip with ms. otto. while at tony's grove, we had to hug a tree, salute the mountains, and pause for a moment of silence to honor the water. it was an odd field trip. it was fun to go back and not have to do anything weird, just eat food, laugh, and catch up with friends. and although i'm not technically going back to school, i finished the weekend off with a little back to school shopping in cold park city with my mom and sisters. i love these ladies!

i can sew?

2009-08-04T22:23:00.010-06:00

i gave a church lesson on sunday about being healthy and balanced in all areas of life. i'm feeling a little hypocritcal because for the past five days, i have been living a very unbalanced life with only one thing on my mind: sewing. i can't help myself. i had so much fun making these goodies for my sister-in-law who is expecting a little boy in september. and it's a good thing i know so many pregnant people, because i already want to make several more boxes just like this one.

let's look a little closer... here are some blocks and a ball, all with little bells inside-
a very simple bib made from my favorite fabric ever-
and my favorite project, cloth baby shoes. how cute are these?!

they are lined with fleece and have denim on the bottom. don't look too closely because my sewing is definitely imperfect. and other than the fact that one shoe is slightly bigger than the other, i'm very happy with how they turned out. maybe baby kropf will be born with one foot slightly bigger than the other and they will be perfect :)

ETA: ball pattern found here, bib pattern found here, cloth shoes pattern found here.

sun valley

2009-07-26T18:58:00.012-06:00

we had a great trip to sun valley this week. i got to meet these darlings-

and i already miss having a baby to hold. as if i wasn't baby hungry when we left, i'm really baby hungry coming home!

people always ask me what we do in sun valley. there are basically four things: eat, play cards, swim, and relax. in between those activities, we find time to shop in ketchum, take lots of pictures, catch up with family, and ice skate. i am lucky that i get to spend a week with all my family every year and in such a beautiful place

favorite one yet!

2009-07-15T12:27:00.004-06:00

would you think me a bit nerdy if i admitted that i couldn't stop dreaming of harry all day and got to see the movie yesterday? it was my favorite harry potter yet. i kind of feel guilty that i got to see the movie before everyone else because i haven't even read the books. i should have sold my ticket to one of you die hard fans who dress up as harry for the premieres (ahem, annika) and wait in lines until wee hours of the morning for the first show... but i loved the movie. this one really made me want to read the books. the characters were adorable and it's definitely the funniest of the 6.

scene or seen?

2009-07-13T16:48:00.004-06:00

today a building close to our house caught fire. i guess some light fixture burst and the people who were inside put the fire out without any problems. so now that we know that no one was harmed and the building is fine, i would like to point out the fine writing that takes place here in cache valley. a local website stated:

"Reports from the scene indicate that smoke was not scene, however fire crews are certainly at the scene and 100 North has been closed."

emphasis added by me. spelling and excellent grammar done by them.

first, who uses the word SCENE three times in one sentence? no word should be used three times in one sentence.
second, smoke cannot be scene. it can, however, be seen.
and third, hire someone to proofread before you publish things. in fact, i'd be willing to do it for free just to make us folks in cache valley look a little smarter.

better late than never

2009-07-09T21:44:00.005-06:00

we spent the 4th of july in island park with my grandparents. it was weird not having my family there, (they ditched us to go to oregon. rude.) but my grandma really spoiled us! as trips to the cabin always are, it was perfect weather and very relaxing.

we spent the 4th with my aunt and uncle and cousins. we didn't do fireworks, but we watched the sandlot, and you can't get more american than that, right? we finished off the trip in yellowstone and enjoyed watching the elk, buffalo, and grizzly bear. it was one of those weekends where i was reminded about how much i have to be grateful for!

2009-07-07T16:40:00.011-06:00

today, my mary engelbreit calendar told me "believe that you have it, and you have it." i seem to be repeating that to myself a lot lately. self confidence has never been one of my strong points. even my high school choir teacher noticed this, and told me once that i wasn't confident enough to play the piano. it didn't really hurt my feelings, but i did purchase some crest toothpaste that promised to increase my self confidence if i used it a few times every day. then i played the piano at a church choir event he attended and he gave me a half compliment/half apology for his doubting my abilities. anyway, there's your motivational thought for today. believe that you have it, and you have it.

i've been pretty productive so far this summer. finished a couple books. first, atonement by ian mcewan. i didn't like it at all. i really wanted to like it because i thought the movie looked really good. but the book wasn't great. the writing was very arrogant which made it hard for me to read. did anyone see the movie and enjoy it? i also finished love walked in by marisa de los santos. some times it really irritated me, but i loved how it ended. so i give it my approval and thought it was pretty cute. i added my favorite quote to the sidebar.

i've also been working on some scrapbook projects. here's a few pictures from my this is me journal-
and a few pictures from our best two years album. (when mike saw the cover, he was stoked because he thought it was about his mission. i had to remind him that his best two years have been the two years we've been MARRIED.)

happy birthday

2009-07-02T18:04:00.004-06:00

even though she's very naughty,
steals our socks,
chews the floor,
ruins my hair bands,
eats anything found on the floor,
thinks she needs to sit on chairs and the couch instead of the floor,
licks my feet,
starts whining at 6 am on the dot,
eats the neighbor's dirty diapers from the garbage,
barks at anything that comes near our house,
and sheds,

this little dog has become part of our family,
and we love her.

she's a soft,
snuggly,
protective,
playful,
loveable,
and smart puppy.

happy first birthday coco!

five-year-plan

2009-06-25T20:03:00.004-06:00

the five-year-plan i made when i graduated from high school looked very different from how life is now, five years later. (have i really been graduated five years?) i was going to be a college graduate from the university of utah with a degree in psychology. i would be working in slc with troubled youth or theorizing about the minds of criminals. i would be traveling the world, driving a sweet car, living in a lovely apartment downtown, and what five-year-plan doesn't include the possibility of finding/marrying mr. right? :) well, at least that much of the five-year-plan actually happened.

growing up, i always wanted to be a writer. i have books and notebooks and folders filled with stories i'd write. i kept them hidden (and always will) but i have always loved to write. i never would have guessed that one day i would actually be getting paid to do it. this week, i found out that my official job title will now be PR/Marketing Specialist. i'm pretty darn excited that i will now get paid to do what i love: write. i've felt a bit overwhelmed, incompetent, and stressed this week in trying to figure out what i'm doing and how the pr company/ceo expect things to be written but i'm loving it so far. i have a lot to learn, and i look forward to this new adventure of writing press releases, updating the company website, and being involved in the marketing efforts of the company. looks like i will be using my college degree, after all.

i can't decide what i'm more excited about: the fact that i don't have to fill out a time card anymore, or the fact that my email signature is going to sound a whole lot more important than it did a week ago :)

life is good.

a winner and a weekend

2009-06-14T21:30:00.007-06:00

according to random.org, #5 is the lucky winner! millie, i will be sending your cd this week.

coco got to spend the weekend with steve and diane (thank you!). she loves them and their poor dog buttons. i don't think she left him alone all weekend. when we walked in with coco, buttons ran and hid under the couch and didn't leave his spot for most of the weekend. she also loves riding in the car. she can't get her head far enough out the window to take in all the smells. can i just say that she has been a terror lately? she ruined the linoleum floor on one of our stairs, ate a pair of shoes, and found another way out of her kennel all in the same week. crossing my fingers that she behaves this week, or else....

anyway, mike and i headed to ikea in search of patio furniture. three hours and our savings account later, we walked out with a patio set, bookshelf, and new wall unit for the tv. i just can't get enough of that store.
we spend the rest of the evening with bethie and jacki. we ate dinner at macaroni grill and went to see the play beauty and the beast at an outdoor theatre. we thought the rain had cleared because it started out pretty nice, but after about 45 minutes, the rain settled in and never went away. they cancelled the show because there were puddles of water on the stage and they were a little concerned about the safety of the dancers. we still had a good time, and i want to go back to see another show at this cute place.

dear you.

2009-06-09T14:32:00.007-06:00

dear amazon.com,
you can imagine my excitement this week when i opened the package that should have contained a shiny new blue ipod. you can imagine my shock when the package was emtpy! and when i called to see what happened, you casually replied, "oh, it looks like we forgot to put the ipod in the package." the ipod is the only thing that should have been in the package! but whatev. at least you have good customer service and gave me a full refund.
from,
the girl who just wants a working ipod

dear staples,
i hate you and your crappy customer service and the fact that you charge corporations more than customers.
from,
the girl who wishes she never had to shop at your store again

dear gap,
i heart your outlet store very much. it's unfortunate that you don't offer cuter/cheaper clothes at your store and website. i would for sure support you more if you had better options.
from,
the girl who can only afford clothes from gap outlet

dear economy,
i did my part in supporting you this weekend. i hope you appreciate it.
from,
the girl who is tired of hearing the phrase, "in this failing economy" before and after every newscast

dear spring weather,
nothing makes me happier than rain. it smells delicious, provides FREE water for the lawn, and makes me want to curl up with a good book. but i should probably be running (more like shuffling) so i don't die in the pleasant view 5k, so please give us a few sunny days before june 27th.
from,
the girl who doesn't like shuffling in the rain

dear readers,
i have never really done a blog giveway, other than the craft giveaway which i haven't forgotten about. so i figured i would share my new favorite playlist. if you'd like a copy, leave a comment and i'll pick a random, lucky winner to receive the CD this week :)

~black hole, she & him
~bitter heart, zee avi
~OK, holly conlan
~crazy, jem
~world spins madly on, the weepies
~live like you're dying, lenka
~ordinary day, emilie mover
~hazy, rosi golan
~a beautiful world, tim myers
~all the same to me, anya marina
~giving up, ingrid michaelson
~reasons to love you, meiko
~today, jeremy larson

love,
carly

jon schmidt + coldplay + taylor swift. LOVE it.

2009-06-01T21:45:00.002-06:00

this pretty much made my whole week. can't wait for the sheet music!

this old house

2009-05-29T18:41:00.001-06:00

our time lately has been consumed with three things:

1) watching season 1 of 24.
2) finishing the patio.
3) painting the bedroom and bedroom door.

first priority was finishing 24. we probably should have waited to start the season until we had the other important projects done, because once you start, you can't stop. but we didn't, so in between painting, rearranging, pouring cement, and moving rock, we had to find time (24 hours worth!) to finish what we started. the first season was excellent, although i must say that the show has come a long way since season 1. i'm glad we've finished it because now we can go to bed at a decent hour and i won't have nightmares anymore. although much to mike's dismay, jack bauer is usually there to save me in my nightmares....

we started the patio project last summer and quickly burnt ourselves out. our soil here is so rocky that we (and by we, i mean mike) had to pick axe every scoop of dirt we wanted to remove. ugh. it didn't help that we started this project in july, the hottest month of the year, so we got pretty tired of it and never finished last year. the area we poured started looking very much like this overgrown mess of weeds-
but with a little man labor- (thank you dustin and karl!)
tada!
the cement is ready and waiting for a patio set and pots of flowers. now if we can just find a cute/cheap patio set.

and our final project, before and after:
we only painted two walls so that it's not too dark, but i'm really happy with how it turned out. amazing what a little paint and new pillows will do for a room! we were apprehensive to paint the door, but thankfully it looks brand new and cost half as much as buying a new door. before being white, the door was a washed out grainy brown color, straight from the 80s.

so a few projects are now checked off the never-ending list of things we want to do around the house. soon to come, a new and lovely garden planted where roses infested with trees and morning glory once grew, chalk paint in the kitchen, and wallpaper removal/new paint in the laundry room.

book review

2009-05-22T18:55:00.006-06:00

in praise of stay-at-home-moms
dr. laura schlessinger

this book was a quick, easy, and light-hearted read. i think the main thing i got from this book was that no one can take the place of a mother! kids need to be raised by their parents, not babysitters or day-care workers or even other family members. the book had lots of positive letters, resources for stay-at-home-moms, and of course, dr. laura's opinions about how much kids benefit from having their mommas at home with them. it reiterated to me that the sacrifices to be at home with your kids are worth it. one of my favorite quotes says, "one day [your little one] can't walk, the next day they're running. one day they can't talk, the next day they won't stop. everything they see, smell, hear, and do is a new miracle--enjoy the ride, even though the house isn't perfect and your neighbor has more jewelry."

gone with the wind
margaret mitchell

this book is definitely on my list of favorites. of course my favorite quotes may be the cheesy sounding ones, but none of this book was about happy ever after or a silly love story. the book encompassed southern life before, during, and after the civil war, and the struggles that came because of it. it was a great, great book, and i'm pretty sad to be done with it.

a few favorite quotes:
"she whispered yes before she even thought. it was almost as if he had willed the word and she had spoken it without her own volition. it seemed very natural that she had said yes, almost as if by divine intervention, a hand stronger than hers was about her affairs, settling her problems for her."

"did it ever occur to you that i loved you as much as a man can love a woman? loved you for years before i finally got you? i loved you but i couldn't let you know it. you're so brutal to those who love you. you take their love and hold it over their heads like a whip."

and the ever-famous line which still makes me cry a little inside, "my dear, i don't give a damn."

23

2009-05-19T22:17:00.006-06:00

as rhett butler says, "when you are trying to get something out of a man, don't blurt it out. try to be more subtle, more seductive. it gets better results." apparently i wasn't very subtle or seductive because mike didn't get anything on my wish list!

i didn't have a great birthday last year and it was ~~mostly~~ all my own fault, so i vowed to have a better attitude this year. and it was a great day. i wish i could record the many renditions of happy birthday that i was serenaded with. it began with mike singing "we're gonna party like it's your birthday" and continued with my boss, several guys at work, kennedy and paige, and my grandparents singing their own versions of happy birthday. nothing is better than hearing people sing to you, especially when they really can't sing at all.

the day was filled with my favorite things: spending time with mike, eating at cafe sabor, fresh flowers, and opening pretty packages. i am a happy girl.

i want i want! i need i need!

2009-05-06T11:54:00.012-06:00

my birthday is coming in 13 days. for your convenience, i have given you some suggestions as to what i'd like.

a new kitchen that looks like this-4 tickets to her concert-

a wii-a few weeks with jillian michaels as my personal trainer-

this beauty- and perhaps a sewing machine. is that asking too much? i'd also settle for this cookbook.
thank you in advance. 23 is going to be a good year. i can feel it.